It. Was. Fucking. Cold.

The park is almost exactly the way I remembered it. I have not been back to the ‘Stick since the Giants moved to Pacific Bell Park. I remember the long escalator to the upper deck, and the cracks in the pavement. I remember how I always thought of how the design of the park reminded me of the world’s largest cereal bowl, and how cold the wind can whip around when you have seats right underneath the overhang… yeah, a thick sweater and a leather jacket did nothing. I should have brought at least four layers of clothes between me and the wind chill factor of 20 degrees.

It was nice being back, but I’d like to keep the sensation in my extremities.

Oh, and the 49ers dropped to 1-10 overall.

LJ Archive | No Comments »

Off and on over the past few weeks, I’ve been writing articles at the Hope Station encyclopedia, to try and get kind of a fully functional reference for my writing, without having to worry if I have all my materials with me; they’ll be online any time I need it and without having to worry whether or not the database crashes like a MOO can from time to time. The cool part is, I’m writing a little more and more on background and getting a much better feel for the universe to help perfect it. I’ve made some significant changes to some of the history, now that I’m no longer 20 years old (it was 1996 when I started Hope Station).

There’s a bit of nostaglia, though. I had to reread a great many of my own role-play logs from the old Phoenix RP Archive, and I laughed and cried all over again. I was a little dismayed at some of the role-play, but then again, it’s a defunct game these days and it’s nothing to get upset about. I just realize how sometimes people can misinterpret a theme so horribly at times, and yet be imaginative to come up with ideas I never thought of. The darkness of the theme has seeped into my own writing in other genres, so Phoenix served as a catalyst for trying to draw out the darkness that resides in us all. Though, the angst factor was almost comical; one player in particular seemed bent on creating chaos in order just to draw attention to it. The status quo quite literally was angst in all forms. Reliving all of those moments reminded me of how cool it was, and the personal/emotional attachments that came with it may have come at too high a price. This is a major reason I decided not to ever ressurrect the Hope Station theme as a basis for role-play. But I can’t thank Steph, Jeff, Mike, Linda, David, Abbie, Peter, Selena, and a great many others enough for trying so hard to keep it going and ultimately finding some enjoyment in the project, even if it didn’t end up that way. It was one very unforgettable ride.

LJ Archive | No Comments »

I’m going to the Dolphins @ 49ers game Sunday.

LJ Archive | 4 Comments »

Thanksgiving did not always allow me to work. There were times when I would fake having to work and jaunt off to my friend Ken’s house for the annual Thanksgiving Refugees party, which would have awesome lasagna and video games, and dancing. It was like the dress rehearsal for New Year’s Eve. I miss those years when Ken would do stuff like that, and now that he’s in Las Vegas, I’m reminded of how cool he was to hang out with in the city all the time. I have a lot of friends who’re no longer within driving range, but I’m giving thanks for the memories we shared, instead of lamenting the fact that they’re not around anymore. People like Ken, and Abbie, and Davis, and Mike, and Hanh…

• I remember how many jokes Ken, Todd, and I would share in the span of an hour before we would be exhausted from laughing.
• I remember how Todd, Ken, Davis, and I were driving down to Anaheim, and Davis got into a race with a Ford Taurus through the canyons driving only his Toyota Tercel. And won.
• I remember how Ken and I would make our anime rounds on a Saturday morning after work, and I would end up crashing at his place before we had to be back for the graveyard shift that night.
• I remember how Abbie could make me laugh by uttering some inside joke or mutual reference.
• I remember when Ken, Mike, Hanh, and I would play Descent for three hours straight. Until we’d had enough of Mike handing us our asses.
• I remember the time when Mike and I set up two machines in the lab via serial cable just to play Command and Conquer. I also remember how Ken would just get fed up and tell us to attack each other, because we’d both go on 100% defense and sit there trying to goad the other into attacking.
• I remember Private Gonzalo and the whole Gonzalo Squad.
• I remember the time Mike and I went to go see the Clash play against Mexico, and he was the only (white) guy cheering for San Jose in a stadium filled with Mexicans. I recall that was the perfect time to use the phrase, “What do you mean ‘we’, white man?”
• I remember when Hanh and Ken and I worked together in the same building after they shut down tech support, and we would hang out periodically and have fun.

Times change, and friends come and go. But I’ll always have the memories with me, no matter what. Even though we may be separated by miles and even a continent, they’re never far from my heart.

LJ Archive | No Comments »

Everyone else is doing it, so I might as well jump off a bridge, too…

1. My poetry pen name is Robert April. My porn pen name is Robert April IV.
2. I can’t sleep without the TV or radio on at soft levels, or without a window open.
3. My godfather is a senior special agent with the FBI. My godmother is with the Department of Education. I haven’t seen either in over ten years, but I get letters and cards from them.
4. I am afraid of any insect with more than six legs.
5. I once did naked interpretive dance for my wife just to cheer her up.
6. My first novel was written in the fifth grade for a contest, and the main character was a panda who got lost in a big city.
7. I skipped the first grade.
8. I entered sixth grade at the age of ten.
9. When I am in love with someone, I will not say anything about it. I would rather let my actions speak for me. Of course, if the person is dense…
10. I think adapting maintstream movies for IMAX is a stupid idea.
11. I am agnostic and I place my faith in myself and those around me.
12. I don’t beleive in hate.
13. My maternal grandfather raised me for the first ten years of my life, and went into a fatal seizure while he was helping me with my homework.
14. I go see really awesome movies in the theaters multiple times, just to remember them on the big screen.
15. I get down on my knees and thank fate that is my friend; she reinstalled serious baseball fandom on my hard drive.
16. I once stole a die-cast model of the space shuttle when I was 8 and felt so guilty every time I played with it, that I buried it in the back yard of my home.
17. I started a SADD chapter in my high school.
18. I work holidays specifically to avoid having to spend time with my extended family. I miss the food, though.
19. I beleive that loving someone means ensuring their happiness, even if it means you don’t get to be with them.
20. I think the number four is a very unlucky number.
21. I want to move to Pacifica and live by the ocean for a while.
22. I’m attracted to women who smoke.
23. My first job was as a paperboy for the San Jose Mercury News. I had it for eight months before I quit, because waking up at 3am every morning killed me.
24. I type at 120 adjusted words per minute. I do not use home row, and it freaks people out to see someone typing that fast using the hunt-and-peck method.
25. I treasure any kind of media that moves me, whether it be a movie, a TV show, a book, or art.
26. I went to my senior prom with a dear friend, who was a junior in college, and I loved how she turned heads. I felt bad because she had a major crush on me, and I didn’t know about it until I graduated, and didn’t return her feelings.
27. Speaking of which, I was told by several people that I’m a big flirt, though I don’t do it consciously, and it used to make me self-conscious. I no longer care.
28. I dislike playing politics, but it doesn’t mean I don’t know how.
29. I don’t want children. Ever.
30. When I was thirteen, my father used to order Playboy TV from cable every other night and fall asleep watching it. I used to wake up in the middle of the night to watch it while he slept. My mother used to try to catch me, but I always faked like I was coming back from the bathroom. She would then go out into the living room and wake my father up to point out that it was on and I was watching. My father used to thank her for waking him up, because he almost missed it.
31. My sense of humor is something I treasure, and I thank my father for helping me develop it.
32. Even though my sense of humor can get me into some deep trouble.
33. I think I will die before I’m 30.
34. I have two best friends that have been so for more than a decade.
35. I’m a feminist, by the dictionary definition of the word.
36. My trivial and very obscure knowledge comes in handy more often than not.
37. I can’t wait for Major League Baseball to sign its first female player.
38. I’ve been studying Japanese for six years and I’m still not fluent. But I can ask someone where the bathroom is.
39. I would rather know a little about everything, than everything about one thing.
40. I still love my ex-wife.
41. My divorce taught me more about myself in 6 months than in 24 years.
42. with the exception of one, all of my ex-girlfriends and ex-wife have been bisexual.
43. Ocean’s Eleven is the only movie I drop everything and watch, no matter how far into it it is.
44. I wanted to join the Navy when I was 21, but I was too fat.
45. Instead, I have studied so much about Naval History, I made it my major in college.
46. I registered Libertarian because my wife told me to. I always voted Democratic, regardless.
47. I studied Spanish in high school just to eavesdrop on my parents’ arguing.
48. The One With All the Poker was the first Friends episode I ever watched.
49. One of my parents once put the business end of a hunting rifle in their mouth in front of me with the full intent to discharge it. They didn’t pull the trigger because I didn’t react.
50. I don’t drink because I tell people my stomach lining is too thin, when that hasn’t been true for quite some time, and I don’t drink because someone very close to me drank excessively, and it nearly killed them.
51. When my wife left me, all of my friends came to my house to make me dinner and cheer me up. I ended up cheering them up. But they still cooked me dinner.
52. One of my best friends, , used to be my boss. He was, and still is, the best boss a guy could ask for.
53. I think of my roommate Todd not just as one of my best friends, but like a twin brother. I think of as the older brother I never had.
54. I’m going to miss Todd terribly when he moves out.
55. Todd and I have a pact to split any lottery winnings 50-50 if it’s above a certain amount. So far, we’ve honored it.
56. When I was a senior in marching band, I tried out for drum major and lost to a sophomore.
57. From my mother, I received a sense of grammar, and a love of history and movies. When we get together, we never agree on movies, but we see eye to eye about history. When I write, she edits my work for grammatical errors. She doesn’t like it when I use foul language for dialogue.
58. I use to see a therapist in the eighth grade, because I had an anxiety attack. The therapist helped me figure out how to redirect stress and anxiety, and now many people describe me as too calm.
59. I subscribe to Playboy TV at the monthly rate. My father is proud, my mother disapproves.
60. I would rather write 100 things about someone else, to let them know there are 100 things about them I treasure.
61. During middle school, I was addicted to Nickelodeon and Nick at Night. My favorite shows were You Can’t Do That on Television, Double Dare, and The Donna Reed Show.
62. I used to record television programs on audio tape and listen to them as I slept. I once had all of the first season of TNG on audio.
63. I also used to record ballgames and do the same thing. I once had game five of the 89 NLCS on tape, and found it in a box three years ago. I don’t know where it is anymore.
64. I don’t like going to parties that I don’t host, because I feel like I have nothing to do.
65. I used to write 20,000 line BASIC programs on my Commodore VIC 20. I also coded an MLX reader in Assembly in the seventh grade. I have forgotten everything I learned about Assembly coding since then.
66. When others give me something to read that they have written, I critique it with sincere severity, in the hopes that they will return the favor.
67. I beleive the definition of a friend is someone who will advise and support you when you come to a decision. Anyone else is not your friend.
68. When I found out my wife was cheating on me, my first reaction was to laugh hysterically. I scared , who was working with me at the time, and he told me to go home.
69. On the way home, I almost drove my car into the center divide four times because I didn’t want to live anymore.
70. I never told my ex-wife about number 69, but we laughed about number 68.
71. I like meeting new people, because it gives me an opportunity to learn about them and try to see the world through their eyes.
72. I make New Year’s Resolutions on my birthday, not on January 1st.
73. I once promised myself I wouldn’t date anyone for a year. I lasted eleven months.
74. Aaron Sorkin redefined the way I look at politics.
75. My close friend and favorite ex, Abbie, will always have a special place in my heart for many reasons; one of which is that she introduced me to Sports Night, but more because she’s been the only girlfriend to get me.
76. I’m not afraid of death, but of being rendered brain-dead.
77. My two biggest fears about death are: Dying unremembered, and dying on a toilet.
78. I realize that the latter may actually prevent the former in number 77.
79. One of the points of my marriage breaking up was my inflexibility toward my wife’s sexuality. The irony is that I’m far more open to new ideas now than I was then.
80. I beleive true friends stab you in the front, as Oscar Wilde said.
81. My least favorite hair color is blonde.
82. When I was 12, I once argued 16th century British history with someone who had a master’s degree in history. I won the argument.
83. Three years before it happened, in a conversation with my wife about what would happen if we cheated on each other, I told her I would be absolutely inconsolable for a day or two and then I would take her back. When it did happen, I was 100% right.
84. I try to talk straight with people, because that throws them more than if I were to play the same word games everyone else plays.
85. Because of my radio show, I’ve watched more anime in the last five months than I have in the last two years.
86. I was once so addicted to Tetris, that when I closed my eyes at night, I saw blocks.
87. I think too many people confuse tact with word games.
88. I also think too many people override common sense with pride.
89. I once dreamt in text.
90. Were I to become an educator, I would be the eighth generation to do so in my family.
91. The only time I went to Hawai’i was with my wife and her family. I never wanted to leave.
92. Some time in the future, I would like to live somewhere other than California, to see what it’s like.
93. I have never been outside the United States, except when I was a baby, but I don’t remember it.
94. I nearly moved to Japan for a year in 2002.
95. When I first saw Jennifer Connelly in Seven Minutes in Heaven, I was eleven years old. I have had a major crush on her that’s lasted to this day.
96. My father used to let me drive his truck when I was six.
97. The first time I drove with my new license, I drove the wrong way down a one-way street with oncoming traffic. My father grabbed the wheel and told me to get out from behind it.
98. I use to read 30 webcomics a day. Today, I only read four: Something Positive, Queen of Wands, GU, and Sinfest.
99. When I was in the second grade, I wanted to be a bus driver when I grew up. My parents were very dismayed.
100. I really and truly do leave my heart in San Francisco.

LJ Archive | 1 Comment »

Ah, some research material for Unwound has resulted in me watching this series called DearS. Now, having been through very nearly similiar types of shows like Choits and Goddess, all I can say is, this show RULES. Oh man, it must be because it is hilarious given the kind of situation the main character is in. Basically, aliens land on the Earth and become citizens in Japan, except one of the aliens meets up with the main character, Takeya, and because he saves her life (she nearly gets run over by a truck), she pledges her life to him.. for all eternity. Let’s also add that she’s stacked (as all aliens should be, if we go by T’Pol’s look from Star Trek: Enterprise), and she is very submissive to Takeya. Also, and this is hilariuous, but the teacher of the class Takeya is in, is stacked and horny for her students. Shades of Mahoromatic, there.

In spite of the whole series, though, I am laughing my ass off. It is hilarious. A little bit of an early review, but man I couldn’t help myself.

LJ Archive | No Comments »

Yes, it’s true. I will be removing all my original science-fiction writings from FictionPress.com at the end of the year. I will be trying to sell my works to a publishing house, and to that end, I have let my premium account expire, but I’ve left my writing up there for people to browse for the time being. Abbie and have given me a lot of inspiration to keep moving in that direction, and Abbie actually helped me flesh out my plot outline a little better. Thanks to and his technical assistance. It’s hard to write about futuristic naval officers and enlisteds without being able to actually bounce scenes and dialogue off someone who’s served.

I will be leaving my psycho Trek stuff up at FanFiction.net, though, so browse away.

LJ Archive | No Comments »

I finished the article for Animerica magazine, but I haven’t heard from my editor all day. I’m hoping it didn’t suck, and I’m hoping he laughed out loud at the part I wrote specifically for him to laugh out loud at.

In other news, I officially got the shift change I want, so I’ve been tagged as the floater for the team, working day shifts 3-4 days a week. I start the first week of December. I’ve already got my schedule through to the end of January, which is very cool. I can actually plan my weeks, now, though I’m officially on-call to work shifts if people get sick. But I now have more time to work on projects.

I started working on Knight Commander again, which makes me very happy to have my muse back! I hope I can ride this out for another couple of chapters, at least!

LJ Archive | No Comments »

After a couple of days looking for it, I finally found an awesome West Wing mood theme courtesy of , and it rules me. I can’t imagine having to get all those screenshots and shrink them down to usable size for a livejournal. Anyway, very awesome. I’m happy!

LJ Archive | 1 Comment »

Beyond spending a great amount of time fixing up my livejournal to look similiar to the season one box set of The West Wing, there’s been quite a few other events going on recently that I’ve been dealing with, and maybe now’s as good a time as any other to disclose some details:

• My great uncle John, who lives in Fresno and has not been able to drive up and see the rest of the family in the past couple of years, has been diagnosed with level four cancer (which is inoperable and terminal). The doctors have given him anywhere between weeks to a couple of months before the end, and many members of my family have been making a trek back and forth between the Bay Area and Fresno to visit with him one last time before the reunion centering around his wake and funeral. I will be heading down that way in the next week to sit and talk with him while he’s still alive. My aunt, also of advanced age, is too frail to really take care of him, so my mother and grandmother have been down there for the first half of every week to make sure he has what he needs. I’ve been feeling somewhat off about this, mostly because he’s always been very kind to me. I hate to say it, but I’ve been off-center about it because there are members of my family who had previously not been speaking to one another, suddenly talking… and it took the terminal illness of my uncle to put that together, and I think that just stinks. On a lighter note, though, uncle John’s been pretty stubborn about this whole thing, in spite of the pain he must be going through. He refused care, but my mom and cousin intervened. He’s been placed in a hospice to make things easier for him. They give him painkillers to ease the pain that is living for him… and the daunting part of it all is that he’s been living with it for a year or so, now. This fucking blows.
• Speaking of Fresno, my stint with Japan-A-Radio as the new chief operations officer has gotten off to a good start. I implemented some new policies and codes to try and make sure people are on the same page with how they operate when dealing with the public. I’m sure that when I go down there to visit my uncle, I’ll stop in there and make an appearance.
• The radio show is going pretty well; we finished recording our sixteenth episode Tuesday night, and we’re planning on a special two-hour episode after the twentieth episode. The special will be playing all the opening themes we played during the season, without us talking over it. This was one of the loudest requests we got all season, and it sounded like a cool thing to do for the holiday break. After all, it’s not reviews, it’s just brief chatter and announcing the next two or three songs. DJing is much easier than doing a radio talk show, beleive me. As we’re coming to the end of the first season, though, I think Unwound is a much cooler project to take part in than I had originally thought. I really enjoy being on-air and talking about something I’ve loved for such a long time, without the pretense of being anything resembling an authority on the subject.
• Animerica Magazine has tapped me to write yet another video game review for them for January’s issue. I’ve been procrastinating on this one, because.. well.. it’s not due until tomorrow. Why put off tonight what you can put off tomorrow, right? For those interested, I’m reviewing Rumble Roses. Oh, and they finally paid me! I almost framed the check, but I needed the money more than the sentiment.
• Work on WNOHGB2 and Stargate: SG-X progresses… I’m working on code that’ll benefit both games, in the d20 utilities and the new request system. I’ve gotten some sneak previews on the space code for WNO2, and all I can say right now is, “Wow.” The next generation of engineering utilities just blows me away and will make WNO1 look like crap. I’m excited about both projects, though. SG-X has serious potential in drawing a more pure aspect of role-play than WNO2 could, especially with how low-tech we’re going with the code. Though, when the story progresses to the Prometheus arc, we might be asking Randal to visit and adapt some of the space code to accommodate.
• At work, meanwhile, I’m on the precipice of taking on the project-level job I wanted a while back. We finally hired on a smart guy to handle the shift I’ll be departing and I’ll be working days from here on in. Yes, I’ll still be getting three to four days off per week, but I’ll be concentrating more on documentation/technical writing projects than babysitting the website operations stuff all the time. Technical writing is tons easier than creative writing.
• Speaking of creative writing… My writing has lost a little focus, what with all the coding and task lists I’ve taken on, but I’m confident that I’ll make my writing goals before the end of the year is up. I still have to finish Knight Commander, and that’s actually been writing itself in the past week or two. The story was plotted out entirely, so I know exactly where I’m going and I’ve been really happy with the outcome so far. I just have to make sure I don’t start revisiting other older unfinished projects and lose track of what I set out to do. It’s the lack of focus that frustrates me the most some times, and recently, with the purchase of a couple of new games (EverQuest 2, Tribes: Vengeance, Rollercoaster Tycoon 3), sometimes it’s easy to see why I lose sight of the prize

Anyway, that’s all the news that’s fit to print for now.

LJ Archive | No Comments »