On July 23rd of this year, my life pretty much changed forever. Today being November 23rd, it’s been four months since then, and I wanted to write a post about how I feel since then.
No one ever said that this was going to be easy. Relationships rarely are in the general shouting distance of easy, if they’re worth anything to anyone. Even friendships have their problems that must be worked through. Julia and I have had our respective experiences and bring the wisdom gained to the table. I try my best to be as understanding as I possibly can with her, and I know she does the same for me. Although we encounter the occasional rough patch, it never seems to last longer than it should. It doesn’t get dragged out or saved for later as a grudge to be held when the next argument surfaces like others tend to do.
We’re learning more about each other every day, and she’s understanding me better as I come to understand her. I think most times, she’s a little surprised by my reaction, or lack thereof, but that was just in the first month or so. Now, it seems like she and I are communicating better. We’re certainly not yet sick of our respective company. She’s a little bewildered by my continued presence; I think she thinks I’m going to get sick of her and take off, but I don’t forsee that happening at all. If I get sick of someone, I’ll get that feeling from the beginning and so far I’ve not had that feeling at all. Julia doesn’t have anything to be insecure about in the slightest. I’m here to stay.
Every now and again, we’ll see a commercial for eHarmony.com or Match.com about tips on how to land that perfect someone, and we exchange that knowing glance like, “Yeah, we don’t need it.” It’s a great sappy feeling and I love it.
I love her.
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…so i guess your ‘friendship’ with Todd meant crap since you left him to fend for himself. i can’t believe you just up and left, leaving all your crap there. i won’t blame you for Mel since Todd was the one who let her come back, but damn man. i can’t even begin to say how angry i am with you. it’s taken me this long to even calm myself down enough to type coherently. and there goes my control, so i’m pressing ‘post comment’ now.
…so i guess your ‘friendship’ with Todd meant crap since you left him to fend for himself.
Well, Todd’s never really needed me to help him fend, Teri. He’s not my minor child dependent, and to think that he needs me to survive is an absurd notion, not to mention an insult to Todd. He’s his own man, and he makes more money than I do. My friendship (and I don’t like how you put that in quotes) with him has never been one with conditions on it. I don’t think that I need him to do things for me in order for him to be my friend. He has done a lot for me, and I’m always going to regard him in the warmest part of my heart for that. He was there for me when I got my heart broken so many times, and when I was going through my divorce… and in return, I tried my best to be there for him whenever he needed me to. If he needs me right now, I’ll try to be there as quickly as possible.
But I’ve told him many times, and he can back me up on this, they we’ve always been able to be straight with one another. So, if he feels like I’ve dumped a whole bunch of crap on his plate, I think he can tell me himself. If he needs me, he needs to communicate that with me and I mean right away.
i won’t blame you for Mel since Todd was the one who let her come back, but damn man.
Hmm. Um… thanks? Mel also makes more money than I do. As far as I know, she’s earning her keep over there right now… way more than I could. And I think maybe I’ll let Mel defend herself on this one, since she’ll be reading this herself and I guess she’ll know exactly how you feel about her. :/
i can’t even begin to say how angry i am with you. it’s taken me this long to even calm myself down enough to type coherently. and there goes my control, so i’m pressing ‘post comment’ now.
I would guess that either you’ve always been angry with me, but we’ve spoken several times since I moved up here, so I know it couldn’t have been that or else you wouldn’t have been in the same room with me, let alone give me a hug when you saw me those times. So, I’m hypothesizing that you’ve been told something by someone who’s too cowardly to tell me to my face… and is using you to attack me (which is manipulative at best), because I’ve never read or heard you like this toward me.
So once again, people, if you’ve got something to say to me, you have the decency to stab me in the front.
i’m always happy to see mature men who actually REALIZE that relationships will come along with these growing pains, but the fact that you work through them so easily is what makes your relationship good. i’m working on getting my significant other to see it that way. he thinks because of our occasional fights and disagreements and rough patches that we’re not meant to work out…but i consistently point out that we always quickly move past things, and when he’s actually tried, it hasn’t inhibited our relationship from growing. it hasn’t hit him yet, but hopefully someday he’ll see it as you do.
i just want to say too that i’m really proud of you both ;D i remember you telling me how much of a crush you had on her and how you were scared to pursue it…now you 2 are getting married. it’s sappy to say, but it warms my heart how great things have turned out for you 2!
1.) if i recall correctly, your name was on the apartment lease, so yes, you did just leave Todd
2.) i have no problems with Mel, but you were the first to invite her in, then leave her when she and my brothers don’t get along very well. again, i don’t really blame you for that anymore, since it was Todd’s decision to welcome her back to a couch =/
3.) you could help support an apartment which is storing the vast majority of your stuff if you’d look for a job. email shouldn’t be an issue since there are so many free services out there
4.) this is coming straight from me. the last time i saw you was over a month ago when you stopped by for 10 minutes, and you hugged me first, so i hugged you back. other than that, i recall pretty much ignoring you since i didn’t want to explode.
::shrugs:: this was something i needed to get off my chest, so i just threw it back to you by letting you know how much you upset me. take it as you will.
I’ve put up a private post for you to read; there’s some information in there that’s not for everyone to be reading about.