Fooling Myself

At one point, I weighed over 400 pounds.  And not just over, either.  I was smack in the middle of the 400 range.  I believe it’s called ‘morbidly obese,’ for a reason.  Carrying that much weight around on your frame is never a good thing.  It was not a pretty sight and I was always tired.  I felt lethargic and sluggish, not really wanting to do much of anything about it because when you’re that big, the last thing you want to do is exercise.

That was about four or five years ago.  Since then, I altered my diet somewhat and added walking to my regimen.  I take the stairs instead of the elevators at work, and I try to stay active in one form or another.  And I dropped below 400 pounds somewhere in 2004, which was a big thing for me.  I was really happy about it and I remember thinking that it was a long road to hoe.  I felt lighter and I was feeling good about myself there for a while.  I had not had access to a scale in a while, but I kept telling myself that I had to be closing in on 300… maybe between 305-325.

Yeah, well… I weighed myself recently.  I’m 365.  That’s really not good, but at least I’m not where I once was.  I need to work a little harder at dropping another 180 pounds, so I’m at my target weight of 185.  Now, 185 might be a pipe dream, but if I can drop below 250, I’ll be really happy and I’m sure I’ll feel much better overall.  So, I guess what I’m asking for is some moral support.  I put up a Traineo page a while back, but it seems no one goes there.   I’m not sure if it’s because you guys don’t want to be associated with someone as large as me, or maybe we’re just not that close.  But I would love it if you guys would hammer on me a little bit more about this.

I’ve decided to start taking pictures of what I eat and post them up on my blog.  I’m hoping it’ll help me remain accountable to myself, if I feel I have to make a full report on what’s going inside my body.  And hopefully, seeing all that up on the blog will help me avoid eating something I’m not supposed to.

So, here goes.  I hope I stick to this a little better.

Now playing on iTunes: Greg Edmonson – River tricks Early

Related posts


    • Tap on December 19, 2007 at 20:48

    Well I could have you do butt crunches at your desk…

    Seriously though. Should you want to go for a walk sometime when I am there next, I’ll go with you.

    • nena on December 20, 2007 at 16:38

    oh, you be quiet, we all love you whether you were a midget or a giant or right in between.

    it’s never a pipe dream! i may be sounding like a bunch of motivational cliches right now, but seriously, losing weight is more mental than anything. once you get your mindset of desiring to lose the weight hooked up with your motivation to do everything to get there, you’re on your way.

    you may just not naturally lose weight quickly because of your metabolism, but that doesn’t mean you never will! just be accountable, like you said. don’t deny yourself, but limit certain foods, and find exercise you enjoy outside of the daily walking. i know the 2 times i’ve had to lose weight, daily walking was a jump start to my fitness, but i still needed something extra…so i’d ride a bike, or dance, or something else for an extra 15-20 minutes most nights.

    also, this may seem strange, but figure out if your weight is correlated more to fat or sugar consumption. i know for myself, i gain weight much quicker with a lot of sugar consumption (fruit juice and alcohol in particular), and lose it when it’s cut down. my body doesn’t really care about fats as much. though everything should be in moderation, everyone seems to have a specific problem with either fats or sugars (main sources of calories).

    okay that’s enough, but i’m here if you want to talk or need any advice or cheering on! my mom was once a dietician, so i had a lot of great help and advice from her whenever i’ve had to lose weight =)

    <3 <3

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

%d bloggers like this: