So, Barry Bonds was indicted today. And if you thought that was a metric fuckton of links, I only gave you five of the five thousand out there. This was the story of the day on every major sports outlet, and I think the ten o’clock news led off with it tonight.
My reaction can be summed up in two words: Whoopty shit.
First of all, to the Bonds haters out there, shut the fuck up. He was indicted. Indicted don’t mean convicted. And though you may want to declare victory now, I would really like to ask who that victory is for. No, really. I mean, I know everyone loves to hate Barry, but I’ve been a fan of his since he donned orange and black in 1993. Sure, he was moody. Sure, he was morose. Sure, he treated the media like crap (rightfully). And the media loved to pay him back by treating him like crap, and it was always understood that they were never going to be seen holding hands or taking long showers together. And Pedro Gomez of ESPN always came off like a fucking asshole in every one of his reports, and I swear to god, there was no one on this planet I loved changing the channels on than that guy.
Second, even if Barry gets convicted, I’ll always remain a fan of his. Not for his alleged felonies, but every time that guy came up to bat, it was a thrill to watch him swing away and launch a ball into the air. That’s the part of Barry I’ll always appreciate. And indictments and convictions won’t take away that from me, from the Giants, from his fans, and certainly not from history.
So keep on hating, fuckwits. And by all means, get up on your high horse and take this golden opportunity to be self-righteous and indignant. Never miss an opportunity to play social better and stare down your nose at others.
Because I’m sure you’re perfect in every way.
I know I am.