Suicidal Tendancies

Last week, I faced down something I have not faced down in a really long time: a threat to end a life. Now, for those of you who know me well enough to remember, I really dislike it when others, in a very serious vein, start showing a complete disregard for others’ lives as well as their own. Talk about suicide and depression really get me going on the overall value of life in general. I can accept a certain level of humor about death, but when the reality of someone talking about just ending it is understood, then it’s no laughing matter. I don’t think I’ve met a single person who doesn’t feel similiarly. With that said, let’s talk about people who say they’re going to commit suicide, get people involved, only to find out it was just a cry for attention.

I have no respect for anyone who plays with people’s emotions like that. I was in a position to witness the amount of pain caused, the tears shed over this possibility and the subsequent depression that comes along with hearing one of your friends go off somewhere and actually count down to their own demise, then turn around and play as if it were a joke. This is no joke, when I’m having to comfort someone else because of their utter thoughtless and inconsiderate behavior to such a degree. It’s one thing to be standing over a ledge, but it’s entirely another when you’ve convinced someone online that you’re going to end your life over a really stupid reason, and they’re now trying everything possible to prevent it. And all this person did was to call attention to himself to see who cares about him enough to stop him… that is just bullshit.

He hasn’t even bothered to apologize for his actions. Is it no wonder I treat him with complete disrespect?

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    • barbles on January 24, 2003 at 07:05

    I miss you <3

    • saebel on January 24, 2003 at 07:52

    Well, since I was there… I can’t exactly comment accurately on the situation. However, from what I can tell…

    People who are suicidal might very well still be suicidal, even if they pretend as if it’s a joke in the end. Of course, that doesn’t help their friends any, due to the emotional roller coaster it brings.

    Of course, your friend could have been one of the few fuckers who can act well enough to freak people out and sincerely not a mean a word that was said, but those people /are/ few and far between.

    So look at it this way: even if your friend seems like a fucker, you still might have done him some good. Professional counselors never get true vindication. Most friends won’t either.

    • jetblack on January 24, 2003 at 09:10

    He’s hardly a friend.

    — ZC

    • jetblack on January 24, 2003 at 09:11

    You’ve been busy. It’s all good πŸ™‚ I’m glad to see you’ve been doing well. Keep it up. πŸ™‚

    — ZC

    • bucketms on February 1, 2003 at 13:52

    Okay, I’d like to say a few things here about this. I know it was posted a while ago,, but…I’d still like to say something.

    First of all, I will freely admit that I was this person that Cochrane is speaking of. And frankly, it was NOT an attempt to see who cared about me. The way I look at it, I consider it a cry for help. Help which counselors are unable to give me. And did I receive it…yes, I did. But not from Cochrane, who did proceed to call me a worthless fucker. Apparently, he still feels that way.

    Secondly, whenever someone threatens to take a life, it is ALWAYS a serious thing. Not a situation where you waltz in, insult the person repeatedly, and then waltz out again leaving that person even more pissed off than he would have been if you hadn’t said anything at all.

    Thirdly, Cochrane, frankly you don’t know a thing about the shit I go through on a daily basis.

    Now….I am willing to talk to you and work through this…honestly and truely…and you do know how to get ahold of me. I am sorry you thought that my cry for help was a call for attention, and perhaps part of me was doing just that. And if it seemed that way to you, I am sorry.

    And like I said, I would like to talk with you about this, perhaps face to face if you would be interested, considering I am flying down there in a month.

    I’ve added you to my friends list. And hopefully, I’ll get a chance to speak with you soon.

    Calvin McLearn

    • jetblack on February 2, 2003 at 13:04

    Under normal circumstances, yes, a cry for help it would be. And no, I don’t know what of shit you go through on a daily basis, however, let’s also not forget that you also don’t know what kind of shit I go through on a daily basis. Neither of us can really speak intelligently about the others’ amount of stress to any degree. The difference lies in that we learn to deal with it, and those of us who do, do. Those of us who don’t, seek help from qualified sources.

    Going online and worrying a bunch of people about killing yourself, give them an address to go to, and then begin holding a death countdown for those who actually show up until you go silent and watch them worry even more… and then when I show up, you suddenly start talking, that is inconsiderate to those who worried enough to show up. Regardless of how much shit you may be going through, or however horrible your life is, you’ve no right to do that to people just to prove to yourself that people care. They thought you actually killed yourself. I pretty much figured you were just trying to get attention. Needless to say that I had to be there for one of them when she broke down into tears, and you’re damned right I was pissed off at you for being such an asshole to her. Your actions were unforgivable in that light. Weilding that kind of emotional power over others does not win you any points with me. You toyed with them.

    — ZC

    • bucketms on February 2, 2003 at 13:24

    Yeah Cochrane. You are right. I shouldn’t have done what I did. It was rude and inconsiderate of me.

    And like I said, I was seeking help….and still am. But professional help just doesn’t give me what I need to get through times like that.

    I am sorry. And I’m not one of those people who says sorry lightly. When I say sorry I mean it. I apologize for my actions that day. Hell, I apologize for my whole entire life.

    Nothing else I can do but say that. I know it doesn’t mean a lot. But it is all I can do.

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