Writing: Need Opinions, please

I’ve been tinkering around with following up a short story I wrote three years ago. In order to really provide a proper frame of reference, that short story is located here:

Agamemnon: http://fiction.hopestation.net/viewstory.php?sid=1&chapter=1

The novella I’m working on has the first chapter done, and it is located here:

The Sacrifice of Agamemnon: http://fiction.hopestation.net/viewstory.php?sid=7

I know a lot of you aren’t Trek fans, but I could use some insight on whether or not I’m proceeding in the right direction.


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